In the Mind
by Koori No Kokoro
Summary: Someone is Depressed........Shounen Ai! Mention of 39(SanzoxGoku)
1. Of a Baka Saru

Koori: *sigh*  
  
Hikari: Whats wrong,Koori?  
  
Koori: My 1st story got removed............no one reviews the 2nd one............Im starting to think its not worth it............*sigh* Maybe Il just end my career as a whriter with this......Nobody will notice anyway............*shakes head* What was I even thinking,when I put myself as a whriter!*sigh* If Nobody says otherwise,Il quit!  
  
Majin: You? Quit?*disbelieving look* Youl gonna give up*snaps fingers*just like that?*crosses arms* Thats deffinetely not the Koori I know!  
  
Koori: And what do you know about me?! Do you think you know the real me?Then guess again!Nobody knows the real me............. *sigh* How I wish to have died 3 years ago........... Would be better for everyone anyway.......*sigh*  
  
Majin/Hikari:0.0  
  
Koori: For all who cares(meaning no one.......)........Im Female!(Im a Tomboy.......Lucky me..........)Okay lets start the story........*sigh* Goku! Disclaimer please!  
  
Goku: Koori-ne-chan doesnt own Gensomaden Saiyuki or the Song ''You Near Yourself''!*sigh*This fic contains mentions of Shounen-Ai or Yaoi! Dont like it,Dont read! Uhmm................ Koori-Ne-Chan?  
  
Koori: What is it Goku?  
  
Goku: Whats Shounen-Ai&Yaoi?  
  
Koori: *sweatdrop* well uhmm......Its ahhh.....*blush* Sanzo,explain it to him!  
  
Sanzo: Why me?Im a monk !  
  
Gojyo: Yeah...........Youre a monk,that kills,smokes,gambles.........  
  
Sanzo: *glare*So?............*smirk* Ero Kappa,you Explain what it is!Its in your department anyway.........  
  
Gojyo: No way!Why me? Hakkai you do it!Youre a Teacher!  
  
Hakkai : o_^ Sorry Gojyo, but thats not one of the topics Im Teaching! Youre the exspert in those things! o_^  
  
Gojyo: But my specialty is women!.................Bouzu you do it!  
  
Sanzo: *eye twitching*Okay!Goku, remember the nights in Chou-An?  
  
Goku: *nods*  
  
Sanzo: Thats practically it!  
  
All-Goku&Sanzo  
  


* * *

  
Koori: Sanzo! You really are a corrupt monk through&through! Ero Namaguza Bouzu!(sorry Genjo Sanzo1!I know it sounds similar to your version.........but I just couldnt get it out of my head!)  
  
''Talking'' *Actions* 'Thinking'  
  
Lyrics  
  
(us Interrupting)  
  
In the Mind..........  
  
'I Sometimes wonder........am I really such a good actor? I know I always act cheerfull....... Am I really that good, that no one sees the sadness thats hidden behind my cheerfullness?*sigh* Sometimes I wish that Sanzo wouldnt of freed me from my prison.......then maybe I wouldve died there without knowing,what Im leaving behind.......Now after all Ive been through........Even if I wish to die,I cant!Im just cant seem to kill myself !.......Whol protect Sanzo then? Whol be the one Hakkai needs to Comfort? With whom will Gojyo fight over food with?  
  
Running away from me,  
  
Do you near yourself?  
  
Neutrally somene asks you that, Most commomly they wont understand you!  
  
Whol be the one whol Sanzo releases his stress over?Who will brighten everyones mood with his cheerfullness?If Im gone,it will be no one! I cant kill myself while knowing this.............But still,the emtyness and the wish to die is still there............. I try to fight it,day after day.......but its not working anymore............The wish to die is slowly,but effectively starting to influence my mind.........I cant even think straight anymore.........when nobodys around I just sit down and stare at a knife I always have with me........thinking........wishing............  
  
I wonder.............How will the others react If I would die?Sanzo will be happy,thats for sure!But about Hakkai,I dont know.......He would be sad for awhile,I think.......Maybe a few minutes or so.......but hel get over it fast! Gojyo'l be just acting neutraly.................All in all no one would really care.................Im a nuisance to them Anyway...............  
  
You have someone,youre afraid to lose! Someone your afraid to Love! Sometimes you wish to be somewhere else.......  
  
Just a Baka Saru,who only thinks about food...........But in reality I think about some other things too........... My obsession of food is just so no one will notice! I mainly think about Pros & Cons of Suicide,Sanzo & what Im worth now............And how theyve started to ignore me lately...........maybe a little bit about food too,but thats not the point!  
  
Am I the only one to notice how empty the days have turned into? First Getting up,drive west,kill youkai along the way,arrive at town,check in a inn,and then rest....and the next morning its all the same......and the day after.......and the day after......maybe sometimes we have to sleep in the jeep,but even thats not somethng unusual..........  
  
Hmmmmmmmmmmmmmm....................Sanzo..................My Guardian...........My feelings for him?.........I guess I loved him..............Not brotherly love,but something deeper..................Well I guess thats what I felt for him...........now I dont know anymore..........I just feel like a puppet with no life or will.....just blindly following someones orders........feeling nothing..........and with no reason to live................. Oh how I wish,that I wouldnt be on this journey.............Id rather lay dead somewhere..............  
  
Why do you think I always annoy Sanzo?.......Its because I would like him to just shoot me! I know that if he wanted to,he wouldnt miss...........Then why does he always just threaten us? *sigh* Im tired of living! 518 years is enough for me! Even if I dont really remember my past(K:like me.......I dont remember my past too........)................I still know the pain I experienced! And when I turn into Seiten Taisen........I just loose control of my feelings.........My Anger.Loneliness,Sadness & wish to die overcomes me,so I attack wishing that my oponent would just kill me ,without regrets........Im a worthless entity that turns into a monster anyway.................... I still dont understant why Sanzo didnt kill me then(K:in ep 22..)........I guess he really didnt want to waste bullets on such a worthless thing like me..................  
  
My Craving for strong oponents? So I would find one that is strong enough to kill me........Havent found one willing or Strong enough to do it yet....................  
  
My Eating Habbit? I would love to choke to death by having something stuck In my throat........or that something like that would happen...............  
  
To Summarise it all up,the Message would be : I want to Die! I want my life to end here & now!I wish that I wouldve died,instead of the people who died before me..........oh how I envy them.........  
  
Your Experience or maybe not! Quesations & Answers!You are you! Somewhere!Deep Inside you! Nothing happens without a reason, Even your touch & Ive flown away........  
  
But I guess Im asking too much..........I hate my life,but hide everything under my cheerfullness.............what a combination, ne? I guess you didnt expect that now,did you?...................  
  
But you are now,today & here! And the thing that you see is your own world! It doesnt matter how Beutiful or Ugly it is! Cause It is your only one.......................  
  
But I guess I have to live on for now..............When this journey ends,Im gonna show everyone the true me! Im gonna tell them the truth & after that Kill myself..................Or maybe Il die sooner...................the sooner the better,I think........... Its an Ugly place I will be leaving anyway..............Kind of reminds me of the song thats playing on the radio at this moment.............What was the group called again? Z-Scars,I think.............Till now only the Vanity of Vanitys(1) was keeping me sane&alive.............I even made up a continuation(K:scroll down to read it.....*sigh*) for it! I guess this song too will cheer me up a bit!.........Gotta ask Hakkai for a way I can get Sanzo to buy me a CD player& this groups CD.........& Maybe some other CDs that fit my mood too........like,what was the song called again?''Bright Eyes''(K: I dont own it either...)? [Following the River of death downstream.......]were part of their lyrics,I think...............  
  
*sigh* Who am I? Can you tell me that? Who am I really?With all my acting..........I dont know anymore.........the only thing I know is how I feel & my feelings for Sanzo............And my love for Sanzo is the only warm feeling I have...........Im feeling a dark void,where instead a warm heart should be anyway................I cant even cry without acting.............what am I turning into anyway? A mix of Sanzo & Hakkai?*shudder* Hope not!..................... Oi! Gojyos looking at me strangely! I guess I have to start my acting again..........*sigh* I sure hope this will end soon..............Sanzo.........you said you heard my call when we first met........the why dont you hear it now.........cant you see how Im hurting inside?............Or do you know and just dont care what happens to me........I bet its the second.........*sigh*.........here goes...... '  
  
''Sanzo! Harraheta!''  
  
''*Thwack*Urusai,Bakasaru!''  
  
''Im not a Saru!''  
  
End...........(or Maybe not! You decide!)  
  
1)Vanity of Vanitys:  
  
You want to die?Ok....Will it help you anyway? No! Suicide is cowardess,living life is the the true show of strength!(*points at self* my idea!*) Nothing changes even if you die.....however,if you live there will be some things that will change!(*points at Sanzo*) Suicide is just running away ,even if its the easy way out...........(*points* my idea again!I know it maybe isnt the real Vanity of Vanitys.......but still......it gives me courage to live!)  
  
All-Goku&Koori: 0.0  
  
Sanzo: What the Fuck is that!*points up*  
  
Koori: Well............*sigh* ask Goku!  
  
Sanzo:*looks at Goku* well? Explain!  
  
Goku: Uhmmm............Korri-Ne-Chan you do it!*points at Koori*  
  
Koori: No You do it!*points at Goku*  
  
Goku/Koori: No you do it!*points at each other*  
  
Sanzo: *twitch**twitch* *Thwack*x2  
  
Koori/Goku: Itai yo,Sanzo!  
  
Sanzo: *Glare* Now Explain,Both of you!  
  
Koori: Okay...........But youl have to end this first!  
  
Sanzo: *glare* Okaaaay*twitch*................*twitch*Read & Review everyone! And if you want that she*points at Koori* Continues this,then tell her that in your review!  
  
Goku: Please Review!*puppy eyes* Koori-Ne-Chan is all Depressed because no one is reviewing!  
  
Koori: Okay! Sanzo,Goku lets go! *points at room* Wel explain it there,ok Goku? Sanzo?  
  
Goku/Sanzo: *nod*  
  
Koori/Sanzo/Goku: *leave to mentioned room*  
  
Majin: If you really want to get in the mood for this fic,try listening to Tetsu69 version of ''Tightrope'' or if you have Msn Messenger contact us so we could transfer the 3 songs(''Bright Eyes'', ''You near Yourself'' and Tetsu69 ''Tightrope'') to you........our Id there is '' Koori NoKokoro'' or Koori_NoKokoro@hotmail.com Or if you wish some for other songs from Saiyuki too.......you can contact us and if we have them wel try to transfer them to you too.....  
  
Majin&Hikari:*sigh* We do hope youl review......we cant stand to see her like this........Ja Ne! *goes off somewhere while Singing to ''Looking for the World''* Just wanna take my time....I dont care for them......Dont be shy......you gotta join..... 


	2. Of a Namaguza Bouzu

Koori/Sanzo/Goku: *Walks out from room*  
  
Sanzo: *looks extremely pale*........................  
  
Koori: Now do you understand?  
  
Sanzo: *nods*.........................  
  
Koori: Good........*checks reviews* Holy Shit! So many reviews for this piece of crap?*confused look* then Im a good whriter then?...................And....................... If this keeps up,Im not gonna stop being an authorres! ^_^ Just continue reviewing,K?.........I mean really....1st review just 2 hours after posting? Sugoi! ^_^  
  
Review Responce:  
  
Koinu-Chan: Domo Arigato Koinu-Chan Desu! ^_^ Your review surprised me very much! You were the 1st to review & just 2 hours after posting..........^_^ And heres the Update.......And I think your pretty good in spelling! And it doesnt mean you have to cry or be scared after reading an angst fic........Im happy that you liked it so much & it didnt dampen your mood very much! ^_^ *gives goku plushie* here......as thanks for reviewing! ^_^  
  
nobody's home: My story is similar to the story you once whrote but erased afterwards?......*blink,blink* Yeah I am depressed.....about 3 years Im like this.....oh well..........*gives goku plushie*  
  
Echiko: Uhmmmm.......*pats shoulder* there,there.......dont cry......*gives Goku plushie* Will this cheer you up??  
  
ethereal-tenshi: Im updating......Im updating....You can stop with the pleading for now..........thanks for the support! ^_^ *gives goku plushie*  
  
Anthey Oom: Thanks you sis for Reviewing ^_^ Glad you like it! *hugs* Il try my best with this story......*gives goku plushie*  
  
Merf: I know its depressing.......but that was my moon when I whrote it! Dont cry......*gives goku plushie*  
  
dragon keeper: go ahead.....shoot!......Itl be better for everyone anyway....*sigh*......but heres the update you threatened me for.....*gives goku plushie* Forsaken^On3: Okay I whrote another chapter..............*gives goku plushie* Happy?  
  
Genjo Sanzo 1: Oh.My.God!*bows down* Your one of my favorite Authoresses! Its an honor that you review my humble fic.....We think Alike?Okay.................................................................. ......................................... You cant change anything huh? There is no living thing,that cant change anything! Everyone can change something,you just need to find out what! Sometimes it takes a lifetime to find out what,but still theres always something you CAN change! Why go on living? Because there always be someone who cries over the one who dies & sometimes follows in death......And if your alive till now.....even after so much time.....it must mean something,ne?You werent given life,just to waste it by Suicide! *hits GS1 over the head* Isnt Saiyuki a good example why to keep on living,even after so pain you experienced? Who needs cowards? Better a coward then a person who always seeks dangerous situations!Runnig away is natural......that I agree......but life never was perfect............I wish to die too you know......but I just arent such a person.......and Im afraid that a cross between a Necrophyle & a Pedophyle visits me while Im dead......I sure wouldnt want to be raped when Im dead.....do you? And what will happen when you die? Who says youl find peace when you die? Will the pain stop if you die? Really.....D you think it really will? *looks at knife in hand* I dont think it will....It could even multiply when you die! And feeling something is always better then feeling totaly empty & lifeless.....*shakes head* If you need someone to talk to,contact me,ok? I really wouldnt want such a great personality like you to die! And If you die,I die! Kapish? *shakes head* Thanks again for reviewing........and please update Sanzo Shaped Nikuman & all your other fics too! *gives Goku plushie,then hugs both Chibi Sanzo & GS1* ^_^  
  
Koori: Thanks again for Reviewing,Minna-san! ^_^  
  
Majin: But what about your other stories?  
  
Koori: *depressed look* ..........................  
  
Majin: *shakes head* thought so............  
  
Koori:...............Saiyuki doesnt belong to me......obviously! If it would belong to me,it would be totaly crap! Bad Story........Shitty Characters......Animation wouldve sucked.........Thank god Kazuya Minekura owns it!  
  
Warning! This story contains hints of Male/Male relationships! Heavy cussing.....courtesy of our dear Sanzo-sama!And is a tad bit depressing......but Saiyuki is that way too,so its nothing uncommon!  
  
'thinking'  
  
''Speaking''  
  
/Goku voice in Sanzos head/(you know which!)  
  
//A Voice in someones mind...//(Like in Sanzos mind this time...)  
  
In the Mind.......  
  
Of a Namaguza Bouzu!............  
  
Recap:  
  
''Sanzo! Haraheta!''  
  
*thwack* Urusai,BakaSaru!  
  
''Im not a Saru!''  
  
*recap end*  
  
'Well........that should teach him to Not to annoy me anymore!...........Baka Saru.........Always thinking about food......food & fighting.......is it the only thing on his mind?.........*shakes head* whatever.......  
  
/Sanzo....../  
  
There it goes again..........the voice I heard,that led me to him..........Why does it keep bothering me lately?  
  
/Sanzo.......Help me....../  
  
Why does it sound so sad,when hes all cheerful? And why does it keep asking me for help? As if he couldnt take care of himself..........  
  
/Sanzo..../  
  
Shut up! I dont care what happens to that monkey,so stop bothering me!......I care only about myself.......All the others could go to hell,for all I care.........  
  
/................/  
  
Good.......It shut up now......stupid Annoying Saru.......Annoys me even when hes silent.........silent........If I think about it,it is silent more often then usual.....Guess the Saru is starting to understand to not bother me with his endless botomless pit for a stomack...................................  
  
*looks at rear-view mirror*Hey what was that look?............It was so empty.......so unlike the usual............Empty&lost eyes.....Expressionless face......a look very similar to a puppets........*looks at mirror again* Now its the normal grinning face...... Was it just my Imagination?.........I know hes eyes doesnt shine with pure Innocence anymore,but that empty look just isnt him...........Must be losing my sanity then........no wonder......Was I ever sane?.......maybe........But now Im starting to really doubt my sanity..........Why In even thinking about this& him?.........The Great Genjo Sanzo Does Not Care about a Baka Saru!  
  
//Oh Really?//  
  
Yes..................What the Fu-  
  
//Suit yourself then.......//  
  
............Grrrrreat,now Im hearing two voices in my head.......Insanity here I come!*obviously sarcasm* ........................................Okay..................Maybe do care a bit about the saru........but its more lust,then care...........I mean really......the tanned skin.......and the sexy body he has.........who can blame me?I sure sometimes wish to just drag him on the bed and fuck him senseless........just thinking about it makes me horny..............  
  
..................and Im supposed to be a High-Ranking Budhist monk.............A person who doesnt drink,smoke,curse or kill..........well they dont call me a corrupt monk for nothing(Koori: so true.......Ero Namaguza Bouzu! Sanzo: *glare* Koori: What?!)...........And Im supposed to be celibate(Koori: Is he even? ^_~)  
  
.............Master.......I wonder what Master would say about the things Im thinking lately.........What did he think when he chose me as the next Sanzo? He mustve been high on crack or something..........Making a person like me the next Sanzo........Im not even good enough to be a Monk,and he makes me one of the most high-ranking monks.............ah...........were nearing a town........good riddance.......maybe Itl help me sooth my headache that I have from that Ero Kappa's & Baka Saru's arguing............'  
  
TBC?  
  
Koori: This chapter sucks............and its too short..... All: *nod*  
  
Majin: Then why did you whrite it so short?  
  
Koori: I have a headache.....a whriters block already.....and in a too happy mood to whrite angst.........got no Idea what to whrite next......so please,if anyone is reading this......Updates will come very randomly.....sometimes short....sometimes long........And I think Im better in Whriting Gokus Pov, ne?  
  
Majin: Then why did you whrite in Sanzos?  
  
Koori: At first I think Im gonna do Gojyos & Hakkais Pov next......then Im gonna stick to Gokus......  
  
Majin: That sounds like a plan......  
  
Koori: Guess so.........Now I only have to think of what to whrite......and I still have that essay to whrite........  
  
Sanzo: Youre Hopeless..........  
  
Koori: I know.......I think Im gonna go get some fresh air......and do some Star-Watching..........Looking at stars helps me think anyway.....Maybe Il get my Inspiration back! ^_~ *goes out*  
  
Sanzo:.................Is she an airhead or what?  
  
Majin& Hikari: We know........  
  
Majin/Hikari/Goku/Sanzo: Please Read & Refiew folks! And Flames are welcome too......just that they have to make sence!(the flames...)  
  
Goku: Please Review!*puppy eyes*Maybe Itl bring Koori-ne-chan out of her depression that way! It brightened her mood a bit Already! ^_^  
  
Koori No Kokoro:  
  
Koorinokokoro2000@yahoo.com on Yahoo messenger(koorinokokoro2000 is the Id name!) Koori_NoKokoro@hotmail.com on Msn Messenger!(Koori_NoKokoro is the Id there!)  
  
New: Koori11081988 is the Id name on Aim(Aol Messenger)...... 


	3. Of a Ero Kappa

Koori/Majin/Hikari:..................  
  
Sanzo: Well?  
  
Koori: .............Well what?  
  
Sanzo: Did it work?  
  
Koori: A little...............  
  
Sanzo: What do you mean, ''A little''?  
  
Koori: Not now.........Il explain it some other time,ok?  
  
Sanzo: *looks away* Whatever...  
  
Koori: -_-; Whos the girl here? You Bouzu or me?  
  
Gojyo: *Snicker*  
  
Sanzo: *glare*  
  
Koori: Okaaaaaaay....On to the Reviews!  
  
Merf= Glad to make you happy..........But why the chanting?*gives Sanzo plushie*  
  
ethereal-tenshi = Glad you like the story.......but do you really think it would end like that?*blink,blink*.....Expect the Unexpected,and youl still be surprised with this storys continuations.........*gives Sanzo Plushie*  
  
kitiara_uth_matar =-_-; theres only one problem with me including the Homura-tachi......I never saw the eps he appears in.....so I only know how he looks like......oh well......*gives Sanzo plushie*  
  
hanae-mirai= 2nd chap is better then the 1st?......ooookkkaaaay......thanks,I think....*gives Sanzo plushie*  
  
Anthey Oom= *falls down laughing* good one sis! Glad you like.....*gives Sanzo plushie*  
  
Gallatica= *falls down from chair*O.M.G!.............*stands up*I guess youre already annoyed by other authors who always bow and do such things......so I will just smile and wont annoy you with all the praises... ^_^ Thanks*puts chocolates away* but Im not so crazy about chocolate,and your too famous....so Il just treasure them in a safe place! ^_^ Too many eclipses? Sorry......glad you like my story*Gives Sanzo plushie* And Im very honoured you reviewed!  
  
Koori: *bows* Thanks again for Reviewing,Minna-san!I never thought my story would get any reviews......*sigh* oh well........By Reviewing you keep this story going,so review!  
  
Goku: Koori Doesnt own Saiyuki,so dont sue! Saiyuki belongs to Kazuya Minekura,so back off!  
  
Warning : This story contains hints on Male/Male Relationships & Cussing..........and some spelling errors!  
  
In the Mind.........of an Ero Kappa!(Koori:*Snicker* Gojyo: Hey! Whats with you and those nicknames? Koori: *Innocent look* Nothing!)  
  
'Whats been going on with the Saru lately? One minute his all cheerfull,the other as silent and withdrawn as the bouzu....and the look he just had.....It was as if he was thinking about something! It was so Empty,that it gave me the Creeps!I never knew he could be so serious......well.......he 'is' about 518 years old........but still,such a look doesnt fit him!I know I call him a Saru and all,but hes like a little brother to me........and teasing the younger siblings is always fun.......it didnt start out that way though.....  
  
At first I was calling him that,to avoid being attached to him.......but it didnt work! I became attached to him,even if I always insulted him.......And to the Bouzu & Hakkai to..........Especially to Hakkai.......The always Smiling 'Mother hen' of the group..........His fake smile always Irrotates me! If he smiles,then I want it to be a true smile Damnit!Its so unnerving to watch him smilke,knowing that most of the time the smile is a fake one!.......I wonder has he noticed me watching him all the time?........I dont know why,but I always want to protect him..........Always to watch after his back and take care of him.........  
  
I doubt that he has noticed it..........and I dont want to ask him about what my feelings are, because Im afraid I would lose the only person I care by asking such a personal question..........I dont know if its love or just plain friendship............I dont know If its frienship love or soulmate love,because I never truly experienced either of them!(Koori:*silent* Majin: Snap out of it will ya? You 'got' hugged once right? Koori: *nod* Yeah.....a few days ago.......but still I have the same situation as Gojyo.....I too never felt loved....*sigh*never ever felt the smallest bit of affection.............. Majin:*silent*)  
  
Yeah,there was Jien but I think it was more of pity then love..........He wouldnt of left me if it wasn't so.......and lets not talk about my step- mom! She tried to kill me,so there was no way she loved me!Her beatings made me so desperate,that I started to hate Myself too! And just as I thought I would be Finally free,my brother comes and kills her.........  
  
Oh well.............The past is the past! You cant change your past,but you can try changing the future! And besides.......I would never become the person I am today,If I didn't have such a past! Thinking about the ''What if's'' Wouldnt help either......It would just make a person more depressed doing that!....................................................................... ....  
  
Im such a Hypocrite,arent I? Proclaiming such things,even if Im doint the same things Im proclaiming against!......................Might as well Smoke till we enter the next town...........Speaking about towns,were nearing one already!  
  
Tbc?  
  
Koori: -_-; Is it me,or does it get shorter & shorter each chapter?  
  
Majin:*cheks* Your right! Then why do you whrite them so short?  
  
Koori: Just cant think of what more to whrite! And after next chapter,it gets more complicated!  
  
Majin: Why that?  
  
Koori: I'l tell you after we finish this chappie,ok? And a question for all the readers! Should I Involve the Pairing HakkaixGojyo or GojyoxHakkai? Tell me in your reviews,if yes and which one should be dominnt too if yes!  
  
Majin: Oooookaaaay..........  
  
Majin/Hikari/Sanzo/Goku/Koori/Hakkai/Gojyo: Please Read & Review Minna-san!  
  
Sanzo: It would keep the story going on,and maybe you would chase that bakas*points at Koori* Depression away.......  
  
Goku: So Pleeeeeeeeaaaaaaaaaase Review, Minna-san!*puppy eyes*  
  
Koori: Hey! I heard that!I aint no baka,Ero Namaguza Bouzu!  
  
Sanzo: *glare*  
  
Koori: *glare back*  
  
Koori&Sanzo:*glaring contest*  
  
Hakkai: Maaa Maaa........What a peacefull day,ne? o_^;  
  
Koori&Sanzo: Shut up!  
  
Hakkai:......*waves* Ja Ne,Minna-San! o_^  
  
Koori No Kokoro:  
  
Koorinokokoro2000@yahoo.com on Yahoo messenger(koorinokokoro2000 is the Id name!) Koori_NoKokoro@hotmail.com on Msn Messenger!(Koori_NoKokoro is the Id there!)  
  
New: Koori11081988 is the Id name on Aim(Aol Messenger)...... 


	4. Of a Smiley Face

Koori: *Dressed similar to Sanzo*..........  
  
Majin:Whats with the clothes?  
  
Koori: Il explain at the end........  
  
Review Responces:  
  
Driaridy= Ja Rada shto tebe Nravitsa.......*Gives Sanzo plushie*Thank you for Reviewing!  
  
Anthey Oom=*bows* Glad you like it sis! ^_^ *gives gojyo Plushie*  
  
Merf= *grin* I think your talking about the wrong story.........oh well.....*shrugs & gives Gojyo Plushie*  
  
enhereal-tenshi=*is being hugged* Dont Mention it......Glad that you like the plushies and uhmmm......*gives Sanzo,Gojyo,Hakkai,Goku,Majin&Hikari each a chocolate brownie,then takes one herself* Thanks for the Brownies!*Puts away the rest of the brownies in a safe place for safe keeping*.......*gives Gojyo plushie*  
  
dream-eater-is-hungry= -_-; I think youre talking about the wrong fic........But I like your fics! ^_^; *gives Goku plushie*  
  
GinRyu-chan= You like my story? *grin* I like YOUR Stories too! ^_^ Especially ''Saru Plushie''! *gives Goku,Gojyo&Sanzo plushies*  
  
Forsaken^On3= I might of inspired you? *blush**scratches head* Are you sure youre not mistaken the story with another one? *gives Sanzo Plushie*  
  
Genjo Sanzo1=*twitch* Im not talking to the wrong person,so shut it! You think only your lifes hard? Guess again! Everyone has its ups & Downs in his life so its not only you........And I repeat: Who says when youl die,everything will get better? Have you talked to someone who is already dead ?.....And about the rape thing......-_-; Blame my history teacher......He got that Idea stuck in my head........Would you please give me you e-mail adress or something? I would really want to talk to you privately & maybe even be your friend......oh well.......*gives Sanzo&Goku plushie + Profiteroles*  
  
Bla: -_-; My 1st flame....... oh well,it wasnt very logical! But what can you expect from a person who calls himself Bla...... ^_^; All-Koori:*glare at Bla* Now you made her more Depressive again!  
  
Goku: Koori doesnt own Saiyuki.......Kazuya Minekura owns it,so dont sue!  
  
Warning : This story contains hints on Male/Male Relationships & Cussing..........and some spelling errors!  
  
In the Mind.........of a Smiley Face?(Hakkai: -o_^; Smiley Face? Koori: -_- ; Dont ask.....)  
  
'They never learn,now do they?*sweatdrop*After so many times,they still argue and make Sanzo loose his temper........I guess it cant be helped......  
  
But I wonder,why its been so silent Recently? Yeah we do get attacked by Youkais, but It never was so silent at the times in between....  
  
And why do I always feel like Im being watched?I havent Noticed any Youkais around,and Sanzo &Goku wouldnt do that......but that would mean that its Gojyo......And if its Gojyo,then why would he do that?He doesnt have reason to watch me.....  
  
Why would he watch such a lowlife being as me? I killed so many Persons & Youkai to just see my Sister die right infront of me.......and lately I started to ponder.....Was it Really worth it?  
  
Yeah,I loved her.......But who Says that I didnt mistake my feelings? Who Says that the love I felt for her,was soulmate love? What if it was Sibling love?  
  
Maybe because I never was precious to someone before her, I misplaced my Feelings for her.......And maybe because she did that too,she was with me.....  
  
If it was soulmate love,then Why didnt she understand how she would hurt me by killing herself?......And why did she really cry? Was it Because she would leave me?.....Or maybe it was because she understood that we both missplaced our feelings?  
  
Ever since She and Cho Gonou died.......Ever Since Cho Hakkai was born........I always hide my feelings under a smile......Is it anger or is it sadness.....I smile so no one knows what I really feel.......  
  
In the past I really wanted to die......But now? Now I have my companions,my 'family' who are dear to me & who I dont want to hurt as Kannan hurt me.....  
  
And ever since we started this journey,I cant help but start to doubt my feelings for Kannan....  
  
Ever Since I met Sanzo,who I 1st thought of as Comrade & a friend, who who now Is more like a brother to me...(Koori:*snickers* a Ero Namaguza Bouzu as your brother Hakkai? Hakkai:-o_^; Who said he was a someone who fit as a perfect description for a brother? Sanzo:*glares at both*)......  
  
Ever since I met Gojyo....Ever since I met him, I dont want him to get hurt......So I always try my best to protect him......But as luck would have it,By protecting him I always hurt myself......And he gets worried about me.......And because he is close to me he mostly gets hurt too.....Like the time When Chin Yiso Attacked us.....He nearly got Killed just becaus he spent time with me! I never ever want to see him As hurt,as he was then......  
  
Ever since I met Goku, who I cant help but think of as my Little brother who I have to teach things......Speaking about Goku,Why is he acting so Indifferent lately?  
  
Yeah he still fights with Gojyo & Irritates Sanzo that way......But he doesnt eat as much as he did in the past and Hes face expression is more forced cheerfullness,then natural cheerfullness as it was in the past......His eyes have lost the Innocent shine they once had,and are now more often devoid of emotions........I guess I should talk to him about it soon........Maybe when we reach the ne-  
  
I see a town in front of us...*sweatdrop* ''Speak of the Devil,and it appears right before your eyes'' would be an apropriate description of the situation.......  
  
Tbc?  
  
Sanzo: The Chapter is finished,so now tell us why the Hell are you dressed similar to me?!  
  
Koori: Because were gonna be off to a Journey & I think these clothes are just the right ones for such a journey!  
  
Sanzo:*glare* And WHO ARE 'we'?  
  
Koori: Me,You Sanzo,Goku,Hakkai,Gojyo,Majin&Hikari!  
  
Sanzo: And who says Wel join you?  
  
Koori: I asked Goku,Gojyo & Hakkai and they agreed to come along....Majin & Hikari wouldnt dare to leave me alone....and Youl come,or else*whispers in Sanzos ear*  
  
Sanzo:*grumbles* Okaaay......Looks like I have no choice anyway...Whats the point of this journey anyway?  
  
Koiori:Youl see!  
  
*a background similar to the one at the end of ep 1(at the time when Sanzo points west) appears*  
  
Koori: Sanzo?  
  
Sanzo:*lights a cigarette and glares*........  
  
Koori:Goku?Hakkai?Gojyo?Majin?Hikari?  
  
Goku/Hakkai/Gojyo/Majin/Hikari:*answer right after their name is being said* Hm?  
  
Koori: Were off in search to get my Inspiration of this story back! To find the Idea behind this story,so I could whrite further!To find the Plot to this story!  
  
All-Koori: -_-; And in which direction are we going?  
  
Koori: Uhmm.....to the east?*points to the east*....No,to the south!*Points south*...no,to the north!*points north*....Uhmm......To the West!*Points to West similar to how Sanzo did in ep.1*  
  
All-Koori:-_-; Are you sure?  
  
Koori:^_^; no........But Lets go to the West anyway!  
  
All-Koori:-_-; Youre such an Airhead!  
  
Koori: I know......^_^; 


	5. Of a Prince

Koori: Finally an Idea came up for a next chapter......and what will happen to this story/fic.....Thank you Aya-san for getting me into that RPG! ^_^  
  
Hakkai: And what exactly will happen,Koori-san? –o_^  
  
Koori: Its Decided that this fic will only be a collection of POV from various Saiyuki characters.....and after its finished,there maybe will be a sequel containing the Real Story(and plot) and will have more action then this one......This is sort of supposed to give the idea of the characters in the sequel.....so as everyone would understand why they act in such ways in the sequel........sort of. ^_^;  
  
Gojyo: Sort of?  
  
Koori: I discussed this with a few persons(I had this Idea running in my head for a while) and they agreed that its not a bad Idea .......  
  
All-Koori: -_-; Okaaaay.........  
  
Koori: And the question still remains....Should the Sequel Contain HakkaixGojyo or GojyoxHakkai? Or Should it be just GokuxSanzo or SanzoxGoku? Please vote cause I cant decide.....  
  
Taka and Keichirou=*gets hit over the head* Ouch....*rubs head* Was that supposed to hurt,Kei? I almost didnt feel a thing.....And wel see how it all goes in the future....oh well.....* gives Goku & Sanzo plushie..*  
  
Dream-eater-is-hungry= Youre welcome......*blush* You really like my story?....glad you like then.....And I think that maybe Il turn end of ch4 in a prologue of another story.....*gives Hakkai plushie* Thanks for the advice,but If I let my muses have a holiday......this story will never be updated.....glad it works by you anyway.....  
  
Koori: And thank you Anthey Oom,even if you didnt review. You gave me idea for this chap.....  
  
Warning : This story contains hints on Male/Male Relationships & Cussing..........and some spelling errors!  
  
Disclaimer: Saiyuki doesnt belong to me,so dont sue...........  
  
In the Mind.........of a Prince....(All-Koori:o.0 Gojyo: A miracle happened.....she didnt give him a insulting nickname.... Koori: ^_^; I just couldn't think of one... All-Koori: o.0;)  
  
Meanwhile At Houan Castle........  
  
Kougaiji had just ended a conversation with Koushu(Koori:The Qeen Bitch! Kougaiji:You can say that again... Koori:The Qeen Bitch! Majin: You know he didnt mean it literally.... Koori: yup. ^_^ All-Koori: ^_^;) and was pissed...again. Gyokumen had once again Insulted him,his mother & his friends.....For Calming his nerves and to think over things he reacted the same way he did everytime.....aka Storm out of room & Go look at Real Mother who is a Rock Statue at the moment....(Koori:*sarcastic* Verrry Original.....)  
  
'I hate her.......And I hate being her servant too......the bitch.......Does she even care about someone else besides her? By what I can witness the answer would be a no......*looks at statue* Mother.......You were such a great person & got imprissoned like this.....while Koushu was left unscarred......Im afraid to think of what would happen,if she wouldnt fulfill her promise and free you........It most probably would result in her death.........even if shes Lirins mother,I wouldnt forgive her.....  
  
Would Lirin even be sad if I would Kill Koushu? Or Maybe she would'nt care? She has a deeper bond with Doku,Yaone & me,then she has with her mother..Were her family....Other then blood relation,there isnt anything between Lirin & her real mother......If one wouldnt know that they're related,one would think theyre complete strangers!  
  
*sigh* and all this is a result of my father having a one night stand with the bitch,and her thinking too much of it......really,just because he fucked with her,she thinks shes his real love.........  
  
And if it wasnt for mother,I wouldnt even be here.....I could care less about my father,but I really want to free my mother....and when I first met Yaone,she kind of reminded me of my mother.....so loyal,kind & caring...  
  
Dokugakuji reminded me of myself.....Sad,Helpless & lost.......From what I later heard from him about his brother....it wasnt such a big shock to me......I really sometimes wonder,How can he fight with his brother so easily?Is his loyalty so big for me? Or does he now think of me as his brother too,that he has to protect?  
  
Lirin is my half-sister......but sometimes I wonder how can she remain so innocent & happy,with all the things going on? Or does she just think of it as her obligation,to make everyone else happy by her cheerfullness & fake innocence?  
  
I guess Il find out the answers to my questions someday.....and be free again too.............but Mother,Im afraid I wont take this for too long,and may explode from all the anger & rage that has started to fulfill my heart since the day Koushu started this craziness & had Nii as one of her subordinates.......and who'm I cant help but think of as the one who relly is behind all this..........And whats up with him and that Bunny doll?'  
  
Oh well............I guess its time to visit the Sanzo-Ikkou again......I hope that this time I 'will' beat them........And whats this strange feeling I have since that encounter with Seiten Taisen Son Goku,and when I look at him lately? I kind of pity him,but for what? And why does he always have that lost & empty look,that I sometimes see on him when were fighting? At 1st I dissmissed it as my Imagination,but now.....Ive seen it too many times to ignore it......  
  
One would ask why do I even care? Its simple: We maybe enemies but were the same in some points too..........his kind of my rival that isnt exactly my friend,but isnt exactly my enemie either......Dont missunderstand,I really want to beat him ,but I want to do it in a fair fight.....and I dont exactly kill him either.....just render him unconcious or something & then get the Sutra from Sanzo.  
  
You could say that about our whole Group......We want to beat the Sanzo- Ikkou,but not Kill them....  
  
I guess wel see How it ends someday.......but 1st things 1st......I have to go get Doku,Yaone & Lirin to accompany me to visit the Sanzo- Ikkou......again.'  
  
Tbc?  
  
Koori: So.......I cant think of anything more to whrite in this chapter....so I guess Il end it na no da....  
  
Sanzo: Na no da?  
  
Koori: 2 words: Too much watching ''Gravitation'', & adoring Ryuichi Sakuma...  
  
Hakkai: Actually Koori-san,It was 7 words not 2....-o_^  
  
Koori: Whatever....Read & Review Minna-san, cause your reviews keep this story going! If no one reviews,Il take it that I shouldnt continue this story anymore & wont be searching my head for update Ideas....The more people review,the more I get motivated to whrite an update.....so.....  
  
All-Sanzo: Please Read & Review!(Sanzo:.....) *waves* Sayonara!(Sanzo:Hn....) 


End file.
